After having my daughter, and nearly losing my daughter and my my own life, I realized that it's never too late.
It's never too late to say "I love you", "I need you", "I'm sorry".
So, I took that epiphany and emailed my former best friend and said this:
Hi ******,
I have no idea how often you check this email address. I was going to Facebook you, but you've removed that option.
I want to apologize. Not because I think either one of us was right or either one of us was wrong, but because after everything I've recently been through, I've come to realize that it is never too late to tell someone you're sorry and it's never too late to tell them that you love them.
******, I'm sorry that my feelings and my words hurt you, upset you and offended you. It was never my purpose to do that. I've never wanted to hurt you. Ever. I've only wanted to be your friend, to be your support, your cheerleader. I'm sorry that my actions made you feel that you had no choice but to say good bye. I have thought of you often and have hoped things have gone well for you. I hope you are happy and I wish for you nothing but good things.
Take care of yourself and your little family. If you've had your baby, congratulations, if you haven't, best of luck and I hope your delivery goes smoothly.
Again, my sincerest apologies for causing this rift between us. I would never intentionally do or say something that would cause you to want to end our friendship.
Love,
Tanya
Her reply was, unexpected, kind, but unapologetic. Which is fine, I'm ok with accepting the responsibility if that's what it takes. We exchanged emails here and there for about 3 weeks, off and on.
I also contacted my sister-in-law. We've had our differences and, I'm not entirely sure why, but the girl hates me. I simply inquired about her home business and ordering. She was all :)'s and lol's in the messages between us, yet when I saw her in April, she was quite the opposite. She wasn't all >:\'s and fuck you's, but all she said to me was "awww" when she saw the baby. NOTHING else. She didn't even want to hold her own niece. Sad for her. It's her loss completely. Her kids know me. I'm auntie Tanya. My kid knows her as her cousins mom...and even then, I don't think Bell would even recognize her to see her unless one of her cousins was in tow and, I don't think Cheese Cracker will ever know her.
My former friend and I are no longer "former friends", which makes me very happy. I missed her. She won't ever tel me her feelings on any of it, but that's fine.
My sil and I are still on the outs, which doesn't really bother me at all. I made an effort. She didn't. All is well on my end. :)
